yes
yes i admit
you were there for me
when no-one else was
when i was staring death in the face
when i saw his red eyes fill with tears of joy
at the sight of me crawling closer to him in pain...
i used my last breath to scream out for help
i used the last kilojoule i had to show my pain
then.....................................................................you appeared
you you you
of all people...................................................................you
heaven knows why
i am grateful, truely i am
we both thought it would turn into love
you think it did
and that is my fault
it feels bad to even think of telling you the truth
seems easier to keep on pretending
im confused now
i dont know what to call this
all i know is its not love at all
i dont know why im writing this
i thought it would help
i feel worse..............
im thinking too fast and typing too slow
i might have missed the right words
maybe not right, should i say correct/sincere/honest
i dont know
but i think
i let slip an important message
while i was looking for the correct spelling
yes
i owe you
i know that
but i cannot give you what you want
ive been trying to love you
im exhausted
i feel like im indebted for life
yes
yes i admit
i got myself into this
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, December 2, 2013
The Perfect World
Not a perfect world, but a conquerable world.
Where maybe school ends in Grade Nine.
Before having to be forced with making subject choices.
A world where you don't go to Grade 12 and stress about a career,
trying to live up to the expectations of the older generations,
when you yourself have no idea what you want to do.
A world where heart, passion, and hard work,
and not your family connections or ties,
gets you somewhere.
A world where you can do what you set your mind to.
A world where people with the smarts who are standing at a crossroad,
not knowing which path to take,
don't have to choose one pathway, but as many as her lifespan will allow.
A world where teens can watch cartoons and still contribute to society.
A world where we discard the mentality of laziness.
A world where we keep calm and enjoy the ride, while steering the wheel in a direction
that benefits not only us, but the community around us, too.
A perfect world? No, not at all.
My world, as powerful as these words written,
as careful as these words selected,
as awesome as my world seems, so is everyone else's.
The question is: Who has the will to make their world the world?
Where maybe school ends in Grade Nine.
Before having to be forced with making subject choices.
A world where you don't go to Grade 12 and stress about a career,
trying to live up to the expectations of the older generations,
when you yourself have no idea what you want to do.
A world where heart, passion, and hard work,
and not your family connections or ties,
gets you somewhere.
A world where you can do what you set your mind to.
A world where people with the smarts who are standing at a crossroad,
not knowing which path to take,
don't have to choose one pathway, but as many as her lifespan will allow.
A world where teens can watch cartoons and still contribute to society.
A world where we discard the mentality of laziness.
A world where we keep calm and enjoy the ride, while steering the wheel in a direction
that benefits not only us, but the community around us, too.
A perfect world? No, not at all.
My world, as powerful as these words written,
as careful as these words selected,
as awesome as my world seems, so is everyone else's.
The question is: Who has the will to make their world the world?
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Generations
Every generation is different. Every generation paves the way for the next generation, but also walks in the steps of the previous generation.
Yet, how different our generations are. Back in the day, those generations had their style, character,
ways that made them unique. Then again, what about us, the 21st generation? The technological generation, the extinction generation, the generation that has proven to be the most active, most productive, most blind generation?
Though we have the technology and mind, we still don't get that without the earth, those things don't matter. Once we destroy our environment and just focus on upgrading our technological side or our stomach side (a process that is already underway), we are killing our predecessor generation, who will be unable to fully live their lives.
They won't have the opportunities we have with the earth because it will be too late. We have had our share of style advancement, and we will continue going strong, but if we destroy our environment - if we kill nature - then the next generation might as well be born on Mars.
The earth is an awesome home. It's a round ball that spirals in mystery. We must still learn from it and be fed by it. How pathetic then will we feel in the generation to come, explaining to our offspring why they must pay for air, why the trees are artificial, and why they live the way they do, without nature or anything natural?
How awful would it be to ask, "What if ...?" If it starts with us, it can be carried on by the next generation and their generation to come. No need to go big. It's the small steps and actions that matter. We can be the generation that did something. Stop with the blame shifting (industries, the poor, the rich). We all contribute, we all produce, and we all protect. It's time we were called not earth destroyers, but the evironologists: We can be technical and environmental. Spread the word, do the word, and correct the world!
"Let it grow, let it grow; you can't reap what you don't sow. Plant a seed inside the earth, just one way to know its worth. Let's celebrate the world's rebirth. We say, let it grow. Let it grow. It's just one tiny seed, but that's all we really need. It's time to change the life we lead. Time to let it grow! Let it grow, let it grow. It's just one tiny seed, but it's all we really need. Time to banish all your greed. Imagine our world flowered and treed. Let this be our solemn creed. We say, let it grow!" -The Lorax
-Gracia Kapenda
Yet, how different our generations are. Back in the day, those generations had their style, character,
ways that made them unique. Then again, what about us, the 21st generation? The technological generation, the extinction generation, the generation that has proven to be the most active, most productive, most blind generation?
Though we have the technology and mind, we still don't get that without the earth, those things don't matter. Once we destroy our environment and just focus on upgrading our technological side or our stomach side (a process that is already underway), we are killing our predecessor generation, who will be unable to fully live their lives.
They won't have the opportunities we have with the earth because it will be too late. We have had our share of style advancement, and we will continue going strong, but if we destroy our environment - if we kill nature - then the next generation might as well be born on Mars.
The earth is an awesome home. It's a round ball that spirals in mystery. We must still learn from it and be fed by it. How pathetic then will we feel in the generation to come, explaining to our offspring why they must pay for air, why the trees are artificial, and why they live the way they do, without nature or anything natural?
How awful would it be to ask, "What if ...?" If it starts with us, it can be carried on by the next generation and their generation to come. No need to go big. It's the small steps and actions that matter. We can be the generation that did something. Stop with the blame shifting (industries, the poor, the rich). We all contribute, we all produce, and we all protect. It's time we were called not earth destroyers, but the evironologists: We can be technical and environmental. Spread the word, do the word, and correct the world!
"Let it grow, let it grow; you can't reap what you don't sow. Plant a seed inside the earth, just one way to know its worth. Let's celebrate the world's rebirth. We say, let it grow. Let it grow. It's just one tiny seed, but that's all we really need. It's time to change the life we lead. Time to let it grow! Let it grow, let it grow. It's just one tiny seed, but it's all we really need. Time to banish all your greed. Imagine our world flowered and treed. Let this be our solemn creed. We say, let it grow!" -The Lorax
-Gracia Kapenda
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Fear
Fear is an aspect of life that has a grip on us all.
Though some try to suppress it and gain the will power to get beyond it,
for others, that's a lifelong battle.
Fear of what is beyond tomorrow, fear of dissappointment and error.
Yet those fears push us beyond our limits.
Those fears prompt us to succeed and keep us on our toes.
Fear of the future - we live in the moment.
Fear of failure - we do our outmost best to get to the top.
So is it true that False Evidence that Appears Real in our lives
is part of human nature,
to either keep us in our comfort zones or kick us to the core,
that we want to overcome it and not let it overcome us?
-Gracia Kapenda
Though some try to suppress it and gain the will power to get beyond it,
for others, that's a lifelong battle.
Fear of what is beyond tomorrow, fear of dissappointment and error.
Yet those fears push us beyond our limits.
Those fears prompt us to succeed and keep us on our toes.
Fear of the future - we live in the moment.
Fear of failure - we do our outmost best to get to the top.
So is it true that False Evidence that Appears Real in our lives
is part of human nature,
to either keep us in our comfort zones or kick us to the core,
that we want to overcome it and not let it overcome us?
-Gracia Kapenda
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Writers
Storytelling, novel writing, killer movies, epic story lines.
What they all have in common is the writer's very own imagination on paper.
The simplicity yet thorough search of the perfect words,
characters that will not only applaud the writer's distinguished taste,
but captivate the minds and hearts of the reader.
It could be a love story, poem, or just a three-line paragraph.
If your soul and sweat have been gathered and put to paper,
it's a masterpiece like no other.
Therefore, let the mind, heart, and imagination
come together as a superpower,
with the intention of breaking barriers
and reaching heights beyond today's imaginative expectations.
-Gracia Kapenda
What they all have in common is the writer's very own imagination on paper.
The simplicity yet thorough search of the perfect words,
characters that will not only applaud the writer's distinguished taste,
but captivate the minds and hearts of the reader.
It could be a love story, poem, or just a three-line paragraph.
If your soul and sweat have been gathered and put to paper,
it's a masterpiece like no other.
Therefore, let the mind, heart, and imagination
come together as a superpower,
with the intention of breaking barriers
and reaching heights beyond today's imaginative expectations.
-Gracia Kapenda
Friday, April 5, 2013
A Lost Life
What is a world with that has what I have
-Chris Lambert
spies to check my wrong doings,
families to rank me for my nationality,
criminals to make me feel at home,
parents that ban me from things that mean
the world to me even though when you ask
them why... they just say because we say so
and if you ask me what kind of world it is,
I would say I don't know because
I am a lost life
-Chris Lambert
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Language
Mlweni, Sanibonani, Dumelani, Guemadag, Mwiriwe, Moro and Good day
Is it what your mother gave you?
Maybe your father?
Why abandon what your blood
gave you?
But when I think back
I remember my grandma use to tell me
When you know too many you know the world
You know people
But again I ask why know too many forget
What that woman gave you, the one
You so call a mother.
Know but don't forget
what you got from that woman
Your mother tongue is
the most precious gift
You get to take wherever you go
and
THAT IS A
-Ciza Sylvane
Monday, May 9, 2011
Fear of Love
Once again, my heart is broken
I've always loved you, but that was never spoken
I tried to tell you, but the earth beneath me started quakin'
never mind my stomach achin'
You told me you were never interested
but I think you hesitated
I never gave up, but I'm losing it,
the dream about you ...
there isn't a chance of fulfilling it.
I just want you to know that you are my sunshine
and maybe someday you will sunrise.
Just to make it through the day and not to get hurt
seems about the best I can hope
Like sauce stains splattered on my shirt
there isn't a pattern
everything is uncertain
It's difficult to cope
but I'm not losing hope
Really, SSS loves ZEE.
-Sandile Sandlana
I've always loved you, but that was never spoken
I tried to tell you, but the earth beneath me started quakin'
never mind my stomach achin'
You told me you were never interested
but I think you hesitated
I never gave up, but I'm losing it,
the dream about you ...
there isn't a chance of fulfilling it.
I just want you to know that you are my sunshine
and maybe someday you will sunrise.
Just to make it through the day and not to get hurt
seems about the best I can hope
Like sauce stains splattered on my shirt
there isn't a pattern
everything is uncertain
It's difficult to cope
but I'm not losing hope
Really, SSS loves ZEE.
-Sandile Sandlana
Thursday, May 5, 2011
The Nightmare
The dream I had
was not a dream
A dream
I could see myself
climbing trees
Trees that never stopped to grow
Running was unstoppable
Sweat was all over my body
swimming in the deepest ocean
Animals chased me through
the unknown way
Where can I go?
Where can I hide?
What can I do?
I stopped, helpless
After all,
it wasn't a dream
it was a nightmare
It got worse
Trees grew fast
The road had no end
The sweat drip-ling like
tap water
The ocean became deeper
Animals were a different kind of them
I didn't know what to do
I screamed
I called names I didn't know
After all ...
I was just in bed.
-Ciza Sylvane
was not a dream
A dream
I could see myself
climbing trees
Trees that never stopped to grow
Running was unstoppable
Sweat was all over my body
swimming in the deepest ocean
Animals chased me through
the unknown way
Where can I go?
Where can I hide?
What can I do?
I stopped, helpless
After all,
it wasn't a dream
it was a nightmare
It got worse
Trees grew fast
The road had no end
The sweat drip-ling like
tap water
The ocean became deeper
Animals were a different kind of them
I didn't know what to do
I screamed
I called names I didn't know
After all ...
I was just in bed.
-Ciza Sylvane
Why Get Away?
I was told get away,
I grew up knowing get away,
they said be happy to get away,
but I don't understand:
WHY GET AWAY?
I heard get away,
they said get away,
talked the language get away,
maybe they came from a planet named
get away,
Their walk was get away
but I don't understand
WHY GET AWAY?
Her look was get away,
his touch was get away,
their heart was get away,
their minds could tell
get away
Love was not LOVE but was get away,
sounds were no more music
but were get away,
please make me understand:
WHY GET AWAY?
-Ciza Sylvane
I grew up knowing get away,
they said be happy to get away,
but I don't understand:
WHY GET AWAY?
I heard get away,
they said get away,
talked the language get away,
maybe they came from a planet named
get away,
Their walk was get away
but I don't understand
WHY GET AWAY?
Her look was get away,
his touch was get away,
their heart was get away,
their minds could tell
get away
Love was not LOVE but was get away,
sounds were no more music
but were get away,
please make me understand:
WHY GET AWAY?
-Ciza Sylvane
If You Knew How Much I Love You
I don't think you know
how much I love you
You could never know
how I feel when I'm around you
how my heart skips a beat
how my mouth gets scratchy
how i feel like I'm about to faint
when i see you smile
that dazzling smile
How I feel sea sick when you
kiss my lips tenderly
but with aggression
that only you could possess
How my ears burn
when you tell me you love me
how my body melts like chocolate on a summer day
when you hug me
How i feel like I'm swimming in an ocean
when you wrap your arms around me and hold me
If you knew
Gosh, if you only knew
You know that I love you
I tell you every day
But I wish you could touch my heart
and feel the heat that rises through it
Then you would have a LITTLE clue
what I feel any time I'm around you
It's like you have this aura
that has enchanted me
as if you spilled a love spell on me
that makes me love you every day
more and more
A potion that makes me feel
like I'm the only one in the world
when you're next to me
If only you knew
And I hope one day you do know
-Ciza Sylvane
how much I love you
You could never know
how I feel when I'm around you
how my heart skips a beat
how my mouth gets scratchy
how i feel like I'm about to faint
when i see you smile
that dazzling smile
How I feel sea sick when you
kiss my lips tenderly
but with aggression
that only you could possess
How my ears burn
when you tell me you love me
how my body melts like chocolate on a summer day
when you hug me
How i feel like I'm swimming in an ocean
when you wrap your arms around me and hold me
If you knew
Gosh, if you only knew
You know that I love you
I tell you every day
But I wish you could touch my heart
and feel the heat that rises through it
Then you would have a LITTLE clue
what I feel any time I'm around you
It's like you have this aura
that has enchanted me
as if you spilled a love spell on me
that makes me love you every day
more and more
A potion that makes me feel
like I'm the only one in the world
when you're next to me
If only you knew
And I hope one day you do know
-Ciza Sylvane
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The Guy Sobs
Sobbing again because of her
I was certain I was going to get her.
She was definitely my fantasy
but she preferred people more fancy.
I know I would have been good for her
If only she'd given it a chance to be proved
But no!
I was let down and screwed.
Don't ever give up on those you love
and care for
They do break your heart
so watch out and be carefull.
-Sandile Sandlana
I was certain I was going to get her.
She was definitely my fantasy
but she preferred people more fancy.
I know I would have been good for her
If only she'd given it a chance to be proved
But no!
I was let down and screwed.
Don't ever give up on those you love
and care for
They do break your heart
so watch out and be carefull.
-Sandile Sandlana
Thursday, March 31, 2011
I Have HIV
Please do not be afraid to hold me
to hug me
to embrace me.
I will not die and leave you.
When the time comes,
I will gladly take that part of you
given to me on a journey
beyond both our wildest dreams
Only to meet you once again
and continue our friendship
our love
our embrace.
Let our hearts prepare
for this journey together
for when that time comes
know that you will be "the wind beneath my wings."
-Gracia Kapenda
to hug me
to embrace me.
I will not die and leave you.
When the time comes,
I will gladly take that part of you
given to me on a journey
beyond both our wildest dreams
Only to meet you once again
and continue our friendship
our love
our embrace.
Let our hearts prepare
for this journey together
for when that time comes
know that you will be "the wind beneath my wings."
-Gracia Kapenda
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
I Give You a Heart
I don't know what to say
or what to get you
because I cannot afford
to buy you a car
But I can give you my heart
This is very big
and greater than a car
I give you a heart
I don't know what is in my heart
but I give you a heart
Sometimes I feel something
strike me
I don't know what it is
but I give you a heart
Is this love or what?
I don't know
but I give you a heart
I wonder to myself
What can it be
but I give you a heart
Maybe I love you
but I give you a heart
-Ciza Sylvane
or what to get you
because I cannot afford
to buy you a car
But I can give you my heart
This is very big
and greater than a car
I give you a heart
I don't know what is in my heart
but I give you a heart
Sometimes I feel something
strike me
I don't know what it is
but I give you a heart
Is this love or what?
I don't know
but I give you a heart
I wonder to myself
What can it be
but I give you a heart
Maybe I love you
but I give you a heart
-Ciza Sylvane
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Remember Me
I tempted you
made you feel uncomfortable
laughed at your nakedness
but remember me
I laughed with you
but turned into a snake
in an instant
I broke your heart
and mended it again
Don't give up on me
but just remember me
Because there will be a time
when I'll change your life
like you changed mine.
-Elethu Nkala
made you feel uncomfortable
laughed at your nakedness
but remember me
I laughed with you
but turned into a snake
in an instant
I broke your heart
and mended it again
Don't give up on me
but just remember me
Because there will be a time
when I'll change your life
like you changed mine.
-Elethu Nkala
Praising
I am saying you're an elephant
'cause you struggled for me
You struggle even when you were pregnant
of me
You protected me when I was a weakling
It was like I am a king
wearing a mane
Waiting for you to call me by a name
I'll kneel for you by my knees
'cause you're the only one that feeds
me towards respect
Because of you I know how to act
You broke up with my father
because of me
My mother
You're the only one in my dreams
Mom, I want you to be proud
of me
Even if I am making the crying sound
out loud
My mother, I'll return the huge favour!
-Lloyd Hanjana
'cause you struggled for me
You struggle even when you were pregnant
of me
You protected me when I was a weakling
It was like I am a king
wearing a mane
Waiting for you to call me by a name
I'll kneel for you by my knees
'cause you're the only one that feeds
me towards respect
Because of you I know how to act
You broke up with my father
because of me
My mother
You're the only one in my dreams
Mom, I want you to be proud
of me
Even if I am making the crying sound
out loud
My mother, I'll return the huge favour!
-Lloyd Hanjana
Friday, March 11, 2011
Who Are You?
Who are you?
I thought I knew you
I thought I was able to
describe who you are
You know me, but
I don't know you
Where are you from?
What is your personality?
What kind of person are you?
I thought I knew deep inside you
I thought I knew your heart
but I fooled myself with
all that I gave you
Who can you be?
Why are you here?
I don't know you anymore
Get away from me
I don't know you
WHO ARE YOU?
-Ciza Sylvane
I thought I knew you
I thought I was able to
describe who you are
You know me, but
I don't know you
Where are you from?
What is your personality?
What kind of person are you?
I thought I knew deep inside you
I thought I knew your heart
but I fooled myself with
all that I gave you
Who can you be?
Why are you here?
I don't know you anymore
Get away from me
I don't know you
WHO ARE YOU?
-Ciza Sylvane
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